Blessings & chokeholds.

Me: “jiu Jitsu has been such an unexpected blessing.”

Professor: “What has jiu jitsu done for you that was unexpected?”

I could have talked my Professor’s ear off for at least an hour. I’ll try to keep this entry brief, but I will divulge further what else I would have added to that discussion if I had the time - and the Professor had the patience lol

I explained how I first started taking classes because I had been assaulted and wanted to learn how to defend myself against an attack like that should I ever be in that situation again. I told him that an unexpected side effect of jiu jitsu was how it taught me patience with myself & with others. How I see that we are all on our own journey having a unique experience and we each can have a bad moment or a bad day & how we both benefit from a moment of empathy. It’s also taught me how to be patient when determining the integrity of a person’s character. How to be observant when making decisions. That is the art of discernment. Choosing your training partner wisely is going to serve you well. This is true for friendship, romance, and business alike. 

Moreover jiu Jitsu has taught me how to embrace the art of summoning willpower from a place of survival and self control. Which is a derivative of self trust & respect. You assert yourself, or you restrain yourself based on the situation at hand. This transformation occurs on the mat, but also outside of the gym. How you control yourself matters. I’ve noticed I’ve developed a stronger back bone. But also a stronger tolerance for more forgivable acts. This requires a strength I didn’t have prior to BJJ.

We aren’t here to work out our anger on our friends. Jiu jitsu grants our training partner the unknowing opportunity to help us work through our own problems in a safe and controlled environment. We owe it to them to reciprocate that care and that safety. You are responsible for your actions and how you respond to what happens to you. & sometimes we get carried away. Just say sorry and do your best to learn from that and do your best not to hurt your friends again. 

I’m learning how to slow down to help the newcomers learn something - it’s no fun to just smash on someone defenseless. There is honor in knowing when to tone it down & teach someone how to defend your attacks. I also noticed how much I learn when I’m training with someone who I can teach something to. It helps me understand what I think I understand and where I need to ask for help with something I haven’t been doing right. 

I’ve learned to never underestimate an opponent — including myself. A person’s rank, size, gender etc. means very little, on or off the mat. There’s a benefit to training with all sorts of people. In jiu jitsu we hug our friends before we choke them & then we bow to each other after we’re done. There is an art to the practice of setting boundaries. There’s a level of respect and personal responsibility required of each of us who attend these classes. It’s a privilege to learn from great practitioners. An even greater feeling to be respected in return knowing you meet their standards too. 

BJJ has taught me how to get along with and find common ground with people I normally would never have encountered naturally outside of the gym. Camaraderie is a beautiful byproduct of mutual respect and compassion. It’s so simple & I’ve made it so deep! Because it is. I get emotional about it because it’s meaningful to me.

One of the most unexpected & heartfelt rewards has been my training partners pushing me to and past my limits. Showing me what I’m capable of. Believing in me more than I believed in myself. Not holding back and giving me an opportunity to really fight back and try to win. It’s how you level up. In any area of your life. You can’t get better if you aren’t being challenged. You’ve gotta get comfortable being uncomfortable. Jiu jitsu offers me a place to practice getting better at that. 

Oh, and controlling my breathing has been the key to controlling every facet of my life - especially when I’m being smashed on the mat. 

With love, Adrienne Dianne.